


no matter what end i meet

by i_shot_the_story



Series: no room for personal problems in roselia [2]
Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Morning After, Sibling Incest, Twincest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 11:50:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_shot_the_story/pseuds/i_shot_the_story
Summary: Hina wakes up to a bed she is not alone in and a whole lot of emotions.(Direct sequel to 'even if you are lost, even if it's dark', the prior fic in the series. Read that first.)





	no matter what end i meet

**Author's Note:**

> i'm assuming it's just canon that people have stupid natural hair colors in this setting and nobody can stop me
> 
> unlike the first fic, this one is two chapters long. there will be a third fic that should finish up the sayohina content. other stuff in the same continuity is planned

_Kakimushiru mune zutto kurushikute_  
_Kizuguchi wo kakusu yubi wo yasashiku hodoku manazashi wa_  
_Juzure souna karada wo tsutsunde (iyashita)_

 _-_ _Re:Birth Day_

 

* * *

  **hikawa hina**

 

You wake up hugging a pillow, which isn't usually how you do things. Weird! Maybe you were having bad dreams and you just don't remember them. It's kinda nice, though. You nuzzle into it sleepily; it's warm - a lot warmer than it should be, actually, and way heavier. That's also weird. You reluctantly open your eyes to see what's up.

Oh. That's not a pillow, like, at all. That... is a person. A specific person. Very specific. Your head is tucked just under this person's chin; you can see very familiar, tousled blue hair out of the corner of your eye.

... All at once, you're completely awake, and memories of last night come flooding in.

Sayo-chan coming home with red eyes and smeared make-up, shoving you out of the way for saying the wrong thing (it hurt your heart and your shoulder, both of them, more than you'll ever tell her). Hearing her scream _"I hate you!"_ through her bedroom door (you already knew that, but you hadn't wanted to think about it, you wanted to pretend she hated you less than she loved you). The rant that came after it, shining a light on all the things that are wrong with you that people mistake for good (a second opinion to confirm what you were already afraid of, that you can't understand people because you're _not a person_ ).

It hurt so much, all of it, but you let it go, you tried to make her happy, because the only real thing you've ever wanted is for the one person you used to be able to understand to come back, for things to be the way they used to be. You let it go because you're a creepy, twisted weirdo, the kind who smiles at her friends and laughs about how interesting it is that other people can fail at things and and plays the guitar all like nothing's wrong and then lies awake at night touching herself to the fantasy that her sister might actually _like_ spending time with her again someday. You let it go because you asked if you could kiss her and she said yes, and that was all that mattered.

... And you'll let it go again now, because she's worth it, even though you know any minute now she'll wake up and _she_ won't think about last night with the same blush and shiver and warmth as you. Sayo-chan will wake up horrified at what you did to her while she was heartbroken and vulnerable, grossed out by you and herself, and for all you know she'll never even want to _talk_ to you again. Maybe she shouldn't want to.

All you can do right now is hold her for however many more precious seconds are left before she opens her eyes and your hopes shatter like glass.

... Jeez, you're such a mess right now. You feel almost as dramatic as Sayo-chan gets. It's a little bit funny, in a totally dark and awful way. You'd laugh except you're pretty sure it would come out as a sob, and either way it would wake her up.

A minute or two passes, maybe more. You're still super sleepy and that thought you had about being totally awake was not correct at all. Or is it just that she's so warm and soft and good that it's hard to stay awake and scared when you're holding her?

It would be nice if you could stay frozen in this moment forever, because everything feels perfect this way, with neither of you able to open your dumb mouths and hurt each other. You don't want to have to face whatever comes next, you just want to keep on getting to feel something that's more real than the little things you distract yourself with every day, more real than boredom.

But forever is a fake idea, and a jolt of terror shoots through you when you hear her sleepy-groan. You open your eyes again and she's looking right at you, the tired confusion all over her face quickly turning into wide-eyed shock as she goes through her own recap of Memories From Last Night.

"Oh," she says, voice completely flat, "Well, all of _that_ happened."

"... Yeeeep," you say. You both go on staring at each other for a while.

Then Sayo-chan starts to laugh - a weird, desperate giggle that goes on way too long. Eventually, still giggling, she curls up half-way into a ball and hides her face in your chest, clinging to you almost hard enough to hurt, and you don't actually notice that the laughing has turned into sobbing until you feel tears soaking all the way through the jacket you fell asleep in. Well... at least your shirt seems to have flopped back down over your boobs somehow in the middle of the night? This would be even weirder otherwise.

You pet her head, awkwardly. It's the only thing you can think of, and you sort of expect her to flinch away or something, but she doesn't. You're not sure if that's because she's okay with it or because she's too upset to stop you.

"Sshh," you whisper, because you're dumb and can't help but push your luck. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay." You think you probably have a 50/50 chance of this making stuff better or worse.

"It's not," she sobs. "It's really - really not."

"It is," you say, threading your fingers through her hair as gently as you can, trying to avoid getting caught on any tangles. Sayo-chan usually takes way better care of her hair than this. Well, now that you think of it, you probably kept her from washing it. Oops.

"H-how can you say that? How in the world can you say that?" Oh boy. Hard conversations feel like video games with dialogue options, sometimes, except you can't load a save, and if you screw up your whole life falls apart forever.

"Because..." There are a lot of things you could say here. Some of them are true, or half-true: _I believe in you,_ or _I'll make them be okay,_ or _because good things do happen._  But it seems like if you're going to try to convince your sister to date you, being totally honest is the right thing to do? This is like, fraught enough territory without getting tricky. "Because I'm scared if I don't say it I won't be nice enough, and you'll hate me again and I'll lose you forever."

"... Well, that's... _honest,"_ she says bitterly. You wince into her hair and hope she doesn't notice. She probably can't sense your facial expressions through her hair, realistically, but if anybody could sense weakness like that it'd be her.

"Yeah, that was the idea. Should it not have been?"

"I don't know. At this point, is there really any point in pretending? You've been _inside_ me, I think by now we're well acquainted with honesty."

Hearing her just come out and _say_ that gives several parts of you goosebumps.

"Do you... wish we hadn't done that?" Of course she does, why wouldn't she? You got her into it. She was crying and confused, and you still went for her, so of course she'll regret accidentally giving in.

"God, I don't... I don't know. Maybe. I know I _ought to,_ morally, and I'm not sure what it says about me that I can't decide." That's... not really what you were getting at, though. Nobody's saying 'this was a thing totally normal, healthy teenagers who get to have happy afterlives' do. That's never been a question.

"But, whether or not you _should_ regret it or whatever, _do you?"_ You have to get an answer to this, or it'll eat you alive, and that just isn't your thing.

"Hina..." Sayo-chan sniffles (why is that so cute, even if it's sad?) and lifts herself up a little. She studies your face for a while, looks you right in the eye. You know what it looks like when she's thinking really hard; this is definitely that. You try to breathe as little as possible, in case breathing messes it up somehow.

"... Well?" Can she tell how scared you are? No, that's dumb, of course she can. The important question is whether or not she cares. Sayo-chan closes her eyes, takes a breath, opens them again.

"No," she says quietly. "I tried very hard to regret it, but I can't. I'm not even sure _why_ I can't. Is there something wrong with me?"

"I mean, you had sex with your sister, so probably," you say because you have the worst sense of humor. Sayo-chan huffs like she's fake-insulted, and you can actually see her trying not to smile. You guess having a bad sense of humor must run in the family.

"Hey, Sayo-chan?" At some point your hand slipped out of her hair, probably when she sat up, since that's how physics works, so you reach up and stroke her hair again. She stiffens for a fraction of a second, then she leans into your hand. Just a little bit, but it still makes you feel like your heart is swelling up in your chest and straining your ribs.

"Mm?" You sort of carefully, super lightly scritch your nails against her scalp. Sayo-chan actually closes her eyes like a cat getting pet and it takes all your willpower not to squeal out of pure joy.

"I don't think I can remember seeing you smile around me for like, _years._ Have you... I know you're a grumpy jerk, but have you really hated me... _that much?"_

She's quiet for a little while - maybe thinking, maybe still distracted by being pet on the head? It seems so out of character for her, but then again, she's totally prickly all the time, keeps everybody at a distance. She's probably not used to being touched at all, let alone in nice ways. Maybe it's just overwhelming.

"It's complicated," she finally says, which is usually people's code for _yes but I don't want to say it,_ and that feels like a needle poking into your heart. "Would it make any sense at all if I said that I've hated and loved you at the same time?"

"Maybe? I don't know if I usually feel complicated things." As soon as you've said that, you're not sure it's true. Would you know the difference between simple and complicated, when it took you most of your life to really comprehend that people apart from you and Sayo-chan are _real_ and not just... background noise?

"Well I do, constantly, and it's terrible. I said that I - _hated_ you. That wasn't a lie, but it's not that simple. Of course I've never stopped loving you. You're my _sister._ I couldn't stop loving you if I wanted to, and I can say that with perfect certainty because I _have_ wanted to."

It didn't take long after saying you don't feel complicated things to feel a complicated thing, wow! It's... really good to hear some of that. Like, soul-savingly good. But knowing she _wanted_ \- wants? - to hate you hurts so much that you have to stop thinking about it so it doesn't rip you apart.

"And that's because... I'm good at stuff, or whatever?" She said that before, so of course it is, but if you ask then maybe she'll explain it in words that aren't being yelled super loud through a bedroom door, and that seems way more useful.

"I suppose," Sayo-chan says, tensing up apparently just from thinking about it. That's not ideal! You scritch a little harder and some of it melts away as she absentmindedly rubs the side of her head against your nails. Is it bad to think that's the cutest thing you've seen in your entire life, period? "I've just felt so... so _worthless,_ really. When _you_ want to do something impressive, to create something valuable, you just _do it_ and it's done. People praise you and look at you with wonder, and they're right to. But I'm just... _here,_ an extra at best, toiling in your shadow and wearing myself down to nothing in an attempt to feel as though I matter."

"Wow," you say, because what else can you say, trying not to look like you want to cry even though you really, _really_ do want to. "I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't want _that_ to happen. I've just... always thought you were cool and smart and pretty and great, so I wanted to be those things too. You're probably the only thing I've been able to care about for more than a little while at a time other than my band, and... well... I _like_ being in a band, but I know someday I'll wake up and it suddenly won't be interesting anymore, and then it'll be gone and I'll have to feel empty and bored all over again."

"... Hina-chan..." Your sister actually looks like she feels _sorry_ for you, which is the weirdest thing. You don't think there's much to feel sorry for, and you doubt you'd deserve it even if there was, but watching her stare down at you as if you're something worth worrying about is... well, it makes you want to cry even more, but in a different way. "I... honestly never had any idea. I suppose I'm not the best at knowing how people feel, am I?"

"You're better than I am, at least! I thought you and me were the only people who actually had feelings until like, this last year." Maybe you shouldn't have admitted that. It makes you sound like some kind of monster. "So I've just... spent my time distracting myself, while I waited to see if you'd start liking me again. I guess that went on long enough that I got kind of weird about it? I'm not really sure when it went from 'I miss Onee-chan' to 'I want Onee-chan to kiss me' to 'I want Onee-chan to touch my junk...'" You trail off into a nervous giggle. It still feels totally crazy to be saying any of this out loud, a freedom that's weird and tingly and electric. Also, it's making you kind of want to just change the subject and see if she _will_ touch you. You fingered her a _lot_ but all she did was touch your boob, which was _super nice_ but still kinda unfair.

"Yes, that's... quite the mental journey." Sayo-chan blushes a little, breaks eye contact. "I feel so odd just _discussing emotions._ Everything seemed so much darker last night. So utterly hopeless."

"Crying a lot and then getting off and then falling asleep is a good way to feel better about stuff," you say. "It works pretty much every time for me." Her eyes widen and her face twists like you said something that both surprised and depressed her, although you're not sure what that would even be. She sighs and lies back down again, wrapping her arm around your stomach and laying her head on your chest, which is a little embarrassing because she must be able to hear your heart beating real fast.

"I think that seeking comfort is supposed to be the _younger_ sister's role, but... is it alright for me to stay like this for a little while regardless?" Sayo-chan's voice is shaky and tired. You stroke her back with one hand and cuddle her with the other.

"Of course it is," you say, and kiss her on the top of the head without really thinking about it. As soon as you realize what you did, a little thrill of fear disrupts the sweetness of the moment, but she doesn't seem to mind. You're dumb and addicted to pushing your luck and being in bad taste, so as soon as another bad half-joke runs through your mind you have to go for it. "As long as you pay me back by getting me off afterward."

Sayo-chan laughs into your boobs; the vibration feels really nice moving through your chest in sharp little waves.

"That's... fair enough," she says, and both your face and the pit of your stomach heat up instantly. "I do owe you for last night, don't I?"

"I mean - if you want to? I was _kinda_ kidding, sort of, a little bit." And it's true! You were kinda sort of a little bit kidding, almost.

"God," Sayo-chan says, still muffled, "I don't want to hate you, I _hate_ hating you, it's nightmarish. This is the closest thing to happy I've been since... ever. My crush destroyed me last night and I'm not even close to over it, and I'm still almost happy. Perhaps I _am_ happy. So why do I feel like I need _permission_ from something in order to try to let go?"

"Because you're weird? I don't know. You've got _my_ permission!"

"I'm terrified," she says, quietly enough that you can barely hear. "I'm so afraid that I'll try to make this mean something, and then something _stupid_ will happen and it'll all come crashing down again, and it'll hurt more than if I'd never tried at all."

"Yeah," you say, "But can you try anyway? I know it's selfish of me to ask, but..."

"Hina-chan... I don't even - I haven't suddenly _stopped_ pining after Yukina-san. You're here claiming to be _in love with me,_ but what am _I_ doing? Using you to hide from having to think about my own problems? _I'm_ the one being selfish."

"Sayo-chan, look at me." She doesn't move, so you wiggle around and jostle her. "Look at me, seriously." Her head slowly tilts up again. You trace the curve of her jaw with a fingertip, try not to be distracted by the dazed look in her eyes, guide her face to yours, and kiss her. It's just as incredible as it was last night, and you kinda want to savor it, so you keep watching her, and she actually _closes her eyes._

What a weird thing, to feel _lucky_ for being the creep who's in love with her sister.

Eventually you break it off, even though that sucks and you want to just kind of push forward to making out again. Sayo-chan blinks a few times. She's blushing, too, but like, more than she was before, so that's some kind of victory for sure. Now it's time for your big gamble.

"Is _th_ _is_ worth taking a few risks?"

She swallows, hard, eyes shiny with a layer of tears that are _probably_ not gonna fall. And then she nods.

"Well, when you put it like that, of course it is."

 _You're_ the one who's at risk of crying, really, because wow, you woke up this morning ready for the world to end, and instead it looks like the complete opposite is happening. Maybe this is where your world actually _starts._ Or maybe that's wishful thinking, when you're not even sure whether this is _'yes_ _Hina-chan,_ _let's try secretly dating each other_ _somehow_ _'_ or _'I'll try not to hate you and also_ _we can_ _make out_ _sometimes_ , _'_ but... you'd rather wish than sit around moping forever.

"Good," you say, and then you can't help it, you finally just let yourself _grin._ "Wanna have sex again? It was pretty boppin' last time!"

"Oh god, this is what I signed up for, isn't it? This is the price I have to pay for whatever this is," she says, obviously biting her lip to keep from laughing. You nod enthusiastically; she pushes herself up off you until she's halfway to sitting properly. "If you're going to open your mouth, at least do something useful with it. Otherwise, shut up and take off your shirt. And that stupid jacket."

You frown at her, and then, well, do it, wiggling out of the jacket and dropping it off the side of the bed. The shirt takes you a second, though. She's already seen you _half-_ shirtless recently, but... your stomach is a little fluttery thinking about her staring at you again. You peel it off slowly, trying to be cool about it, but you're too flustered and it gets stuck part of the way over your head.

"Really _?",_ Sayo-chan grumbles, helping you wriggle free. Once it's off she flings it irritably across the room, and there you are, 100% topless! That's as topless as it's possible to get. She freezes, bites her lip. It's... really nice to be able to get that reaction. To be something she _wants_ to see, topless or not.

Waiiiit just a minute, though...

"I wanna be on top this time," you decide out loud, "or at least not on the bottom, whatever ends up working out best!" Your sister glares at you, still blushing furiously.

"There is no way I will ever let you be on top of me," she says. "Don't you even try." You roll your eyes and sit up. This is getting silly and you'd rather just kiss her again.

... Kissing her is still just. _So_ great. Like, every time. You kinda love the way she leans into you really hard, and her long hair spills over her shoulders and frames everything so that you can barely see anything that isn't her. It's weirdly intense and romantic, even though strands of it keep getting caught in your mouth.

She's also kinda _bitey,_ which is like, the Sayo-chan-est thing possible and super cute, plus every time you feel her teeth on your bottom lip you get these hot little shivers all through you that you wish didn't ever have to stop.

You twitch a little at the feeling of her hand stroking up the side of your stomach and ribs, surprisingly delicately by contrast to her piranha-ing at your face. It's - _really_ nice, and it makes you feel kinda... valuable, you guess? Like you're something that's worth being careful with. Something she doesn't want to see broken. Probably you're just imagining that, though.

Also, you really _really_ want her hands in other places, so you grab one and press it into your boob. She gets right to it, thank god, and you're keyed up enough at this point that you don't mind her being a little bit rough, kneading into your chest and pinching your nipple. You were trying to play it _sort_ of cool but nope, enough of that, you just want to start letting go, and you don't think you can keep yourself from making annoying little turned-on whiny noises any longer anyway.

When she hears _that,_ Sayo-chan starts breathing noticeably faster, suddenly cups your other boob with her spare hand. Her tongue pushes way into your mouth, squishing into yours super hard; is she... oh my god, is she trying to _wrestle for dominance?_ Is _this_ what that dumb phrase means? Forget the biting, _t_ _hat_ would be the most Sayo-chan thing you could possibly imagine, and also super dumb.

You choke up giggling, and she pulls back, looking totally affronted.

 _"What?_ What are you laughing about?" She's glaring at you in the cutest way and it just makes you giggle _more_ because, like, how would you even explain?

Then she tweaks both of your nipples at the same time, _hard,_ and you squeak, lose your balance and topple over into her.

"That's more like it," Sayo-chan says, sounding a little too satisfied, and then you learn that it is in fact possible for someone to literally torture you by kissing your neck and teasing both of your boobs at once for _way too long_ without moving on. Your hips keep twitching, sort of instinctively frustrated that you can't find anything to grind on, and you're wet enough that you can feel your panties clinging to your skin. Jeez. You never get like _this_ by yourself.

The only way you can even try to get some control and composure back (not that you need it, much, but she'll probably have more fun if you act like this is a little bit of a contest) is to bite and suck on her neck, too, get your fingers into her hair again and tug on it - you noticed last night that she seemed to like that, and the awesome whimpery sound you drag out of her is definitely confirmation.

You run out of composure real fast, though, because what she's doing _is_ super super good, but it's not getting you anywhere, and definitely not getting you _off_ and you would like for that to happen, please, like, soon.

"C'mon," you huff out, "J-just touch me, please," and you can't _see_ her smirk but you just know it's there.

"Aren't I touching you?"

 _"You know what I mean!_ Pleeeaaase?"

"Oh, very well. Get your pants off. I'll just... keep doing what I'm doing, in the meantime."

Aaaagh, that's so mean, but also it's not? She's gonna kill you at this rate, is all. You fumble with your jeans - why couldn't you have worn something easier to take off, you _usually_ wear things that are easier to take off! - and you get both them and your grossly sticky underwear halfway down your thighs before you realize that to actually remove them properly you'll have to like, wriggle all around and stuff, and you really don't feel like doing that!

"Is this good enough?" You pull away from biting her neck again, settle back on your knees with your thighs spread apart just enough to probably get a hand through, and try to give her the biggest, most desperate Sad Nee-chan Eyes possible, which is _really easy right now._ She sighs, and you catch just a hint of a smile.

"I suppose it'll have to be."

She only lets go of one boob - she really likes going at that, doesn't she? Is that just a thing she's into, or does she like _yours_ a lot specifically? Maybe it's both. It'd just... make you really happy if Sayo-chan had a Thing for _yours_ _._ That's dumb, though, you're so weird.

Sayo-chan drags her nails down your stomach, runs her fingertips through the fuzzy patch of blue just above your junk. You're glad you happened to take care of that recently. She might not have cared if she ran into The Cyan Jungle, but you would've still been embarrassed. It's already embarrassing _enough_ having someone touch it in the first place.

It takes a moment for her to get going, staring down at her hand and the space between your legs, something strange and wild in her eyes. She swallows hard.

... And then she finally, _FINALLY_ goes for it, running her fingers through the slick mess down there, and you pretty much lose your ability to think about anything else. She's not even being nice enough to focus on anything specific, she's just - touching, wandering, almost like she's mapping you out in her head, and it's a lot, like, a lot a lot.

Eventually she shows a little bit of kindness, rubs slow definitely-not-firm-enough circles into your clit, and okay yeah that's sort of better. She's obviously having fun tormenting you, and god, half of you wishes she'd just get on with it but half of you is kind of treasuring it, too, hoping it'll go on forever. For all you know this is the last time, because who knows if she'll still love you tonight? She said she'd try, she wants to, but - people want a lot of things they don't get, and people who aren't you fail at a lot of things that they try.

Sayo-chan suddenly stops touching your clit. You whine totally pathetically; you were hoping she'd do the opposite. maybe speed up, maybe press in harder, maybe both? But no, she - she, oh, that... that is two fingers shoving into you at once, and that's also good, sure, yeah, no complaints. You're lucky you're already this wet, because wow, that's pretty abrupt!

Both of you kind of settle there for a while, her fingers in constant motion while the bottom of her palm squishes into your clit, your hips rolling while you breathe harder and harder, letting more of your weight rest against her shoulder.

"Mm," she hums, letting you nuzzle into her neck - you don't have the focus to kiss her there anymore, or do anything really - "You like that? Having your - your _sister's_ fingers in you?"

"Onee-chan, you sound like you're doing porn," you squeak out, because come on, she doesn't have to be such a try-hard about it.

"Well, excuse me for attemping to match the _mood,"_ she says, fingering you harder. God, she's pushing _so_ deep, how is she not hurting her hand?

Then she ruthlessly adds a third finger, and you have to bite your lip almost hard enough to break the skin to keep from shrieking. Instead you just - bear down on her hand, choke out a long strangled squeal. _That's_ a lot, you thought this was all a lot before but no _this_ is _a lot,_ a lot is _this._ You've never done _this!_ What kind of crazy person uses _three_ fingers? Well, maybe people _do,_ maybe you're just tight, it's not like you've had much to compare with.

Her movements are a lot clumsier when she's stretching you to the point of hurting just a tiny bit, but oh _god,_ her fingers are hitting pretty much every spot you like all at once because they're so stuffed in there that they can't _avoid_ anything even by accident. You can actually hear the _squish_ every time she thrusts, it's kinda gross and kinda amazing.

"Sshh," she whispers in your ear, weirdly gently, and wraps her other arm around your back, hugging you closer while you whine and wriggle and claw at whatever parts of her your hands flop against. "Sshh, it's okay. You can let go."

You don't understand what she's trying to do here. Is this a kinky thing? Is she trying to repay you for being distant for so long with this weird good-sister bad-sister comfort routine? What is this?

Whatever it is, it works, and you come probably the hardest you ever have in your life. You go right from making _too much_ noise to being so overwhelmed that you can barely make any at all, every harsh movement inside you is ringing with razor-sharp echoes, and you don't know how long it lasts but it feels _really really long._

... Eventually, though, you do find your way back to your senses. She pulls out a little, or at least goes back to two fingers, moving more smoothly while you ride out the aftershocks, until you're finally too sensitive and yank her out yourself. You lean into her, out of breath and sweaty and just completely destroyed.

Sayo-chan says something soft and low that you can't make sense of; all you can really get is the tone of voice, which is... sweet, almost, as close to nice as she's ever sounded. Your eyes are suddenly hot and prickly.

Something way deep in your heart crumbles, like old, creaky floorboards breaking apart.

You hug her tight around the ribs, sob into her collarbone so hard it hurts your throat. A _long_ while goes by like that. _Really_ long, definitely it's measured in minutes and not seconds. You think _you_ might be talking, or trying to at least; cry-talking to the tune of _I love you so much, I love you, please love me, please stay with me, please_ _don't shut me out ever again_ _, please._

She just shushes you, strokes your back, runs her sticky fingers through your hair. You dimly register the fact that you _really_ need to wash your hair and also your everything. Like, _really._

Sayo-chan just... waits, more patiently than you ever would have expected - takes care of you, you guess, even if that's an idea that's so important you're scared to believe it's real. Eventually, you manage to calm down enough that you're mostly quiet except for the occasional hiccup, and you could seriously fall asleep again like this if you let yourself. You kinda _want_ to let yourself.

"We should probably go wash off," she says, because of course she's going to try to avoid actually talking about feelings again.

 _"I was just thinking that exact same thing."_ The first coherent words you've gotten out in a while, you think. Her priorities are stupid, but she's also right, especially after the thing with your hair, even though that could've been an accident. _Could_ have been. You're not convinced. "Do you... want to take a bath _with_ me?" The childish hopefulness in your voice is probably really off-putting. You should have just left it alone -

"Okay," Sayo-chan says. "That... sounds nice."

You try really hard not to start crying again, especially because it's a dumb thing to cry about.

Unlike with most of the stuff you try, you fail.

 

* * *

**several minutes later**

 

"So, what exactly _did_ happen when you came home all sad and stuff last night? You never explained it. Also, you wiped your fingers in my hair so you have to wash it for me." You could mention the totally weird thing she did just _before_ that, but... something gives you the feeling that it would be a really bad idea and you should just let it slide for the time being. Don't rock the boat _too_ hard, right?

"It was so, _so_ stupid," Sayo-chan says, "and fine, just - turn around then." Trying not to wiggle too excitedly, you swivel around on the floor and let her scoot behind you; she immediately dumps a bunch of water over your head without warning you at all. "Hmm... You have much less hair than I had thought, somehow... Anyway, the band was backstage, and I overheard Yu - _Minato-san_ and Imai talking, and it was... _unusual._ Minato-san tends not to bother with honorifics at all, normally -"

"Yeah, it's super rude! Like, it's not really my business, but I'm always surprised nobody gets mad about it." Minato-san is... uh. A very _special_ kind of person. You guess it's not that surprising that Sayo-chan would have a crush on somebody who acts as coldly as she does. You also don't fail to notice that Sayo-chan is being super rude with Lisa-chi's name, so that's probably involved.

"She simply doesn't bother wasting time on lesser life-forms, which is all of them. But for some reason she was being _very_ formal with Imai, which I still don't _quite_ understand, and then _Imai_ insisted she simply refer to her the way she usually does. I was trying and failing to piece together what in the world was going on there, and then - well. I got close enough to realize they were holding hands." Halfway through her complicated story Sayo-chan's hands spreading shampoo through your hair slow down and then stop; you nuzzle the back of your head into them to get her to start doing stuff again, because there's still jizz in your hair and also it feels really _really_ nice.

"Ooooh, and then you freaked out or something, probably?"

"... You could say that," she mutters. "I made a mistake in my performance, for starters -"

"Oh no, one whole mistake?" You shouldn't tease her about this, but you can't help it, she's such a ridiculous perfectionist. Is it your fault, that she's like this? It probably is. How much of her life did you wreck without even trying?

"Quiet, you. After that I... may have, er... blown up at Imai. Just a little bit." Uh oh. That doesn't sound good. You get the feeling her definition of _'a little bit'_ is not the same as anybody else's. "Minato-san was angry, and everyone looked at me like I was a monster, and then I came home and _this_ whole outrageous thing somehow happened. That's about it; my life as I know it annihilated in one night."

You can't help but roll your eyes at that last part. Luckily she can't actually see your face, because you don't want to be mean, you really don't! She's just _so dramatic._ Sayo-chan pushes your head down kinda roughly and gets to washing the shampoo out along with all the grossness. It would be nice if she'd chill out, but at least she goes slower than before. By the time she's done, you've decided what to do.

"Well, alright then! You're dumb and now you have to go fix things with your band, because otherwise you'll mope around forever thinking everybody hates you. Move over, I'm gonna wash _your_ hair now." It's really nice to be able to like, talk to Sayo-chan and be comforting instead of having to be sad alone in your room while she's all broody alone in _her_ room, but you're still going to make her actually deal with her problems.

"I don't think this _is_ fixable," she says while you both rearrange. It's surreal how different it is being naked in this context. Like, obviously it would be weird to be doing this at your ages if you weren't, uh, y'know, _like this,_ but some distant part of your memory remembers it so clearly that you can kind of snap back into that state of mind where it doesn't _feel_ the same as being naked around someone who wants to touch your junk.

"That's dumb, you're dumb, and I'm gonna make you do it even if you keep arguing, so you might as well just give up! I can help somehow if you're that worried about it, I'm _great_ at solving people's personal problems." You would have been totally nice about washing her hair if she hadn't dumped water on you, but nope, she gets a whole bucket poured all over her too. She actually squeals in shock, like she wasn't expecting revenge. What a dork.

 _"_ _Th_ _ere_ _is no room for_ _personal problems in Roseli_ _a,"_ she says in an almost perfect Minato-san impression.

"Man, Roselia _is_ a personal problem," you say. "Wow, how do you have so much hair? Isn't it annoying washing all of this all the time?" She's lucky you're having fun with this, because it's super tiring.

"Not really. It's worth the effort. What would you even _do_ to help... quote unquote _solve_ this?" Pssh, almost anything, 'cause you bet literally anything will be better than leaving her completely to herself. You comb your fingers through her crazy hair-ocean and she lets out a long, kind of relieved-sounding sigh. It's painfully cute.

"I guess I'll just have to teach you how to apologize! Don't worry, I'm a _great_ sensei. We'll have you faking being a vaguely nice person in no time at all! Then you can get everybody together, say you're sorry, and put things right back on track."

"Oh god no, anything but _that,"_ she says. "Can't I just do something _simple?_ Send Imai a _fruit basket_ _,_ or drop everything to pursue a scientific career and build a time machine?"

"Nope! You have to do _human interaction."_ Hmm, that's probably enough shampoo time, and even if it's not, you're bored now so she'll have to make do.

You take a moment while she complains under her breath to fill the bucket back up and dump it over her head again. This time she outright shrieks, like it's _more_ surprising it happened twice or something, and then she turns around and tackles you to the floor while you giggle at her, pins your wrists and looms over you. Oh. Okay. So much for the context making nudity feel at all normal.

"... Wow, you made this get sexy _really fast,"_ you say. Sayo-chan blinks, then blushes. Then she leans down and kisses you right on the mouth. This is gonna be a long bath, isn't it? Well, you're alright with that.

You're alright with just about anything, as long as she's a part of it.


End file.
